Cue the Evil Twin
by Qilin
Summary: Loki, stuck on the hellish planet called Earth, gets fun from wherever he can. Jane still pines for Thor, giving Loki the great idea on how to get Thor to fix the Bifrost as fast as possible: Pretend to be him and play with Jane. L/J T/S D/F
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** You have Lady NeverAfterNon to blame for this, as she often pushes me in new directions. Sometimes they catch hold and spin with new ideas. I own nothing on these pages.

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><p><strong>Cue the Evil Twin<strong>

.

.

_Controlling this rather fat man is not nearly as fun as I thought it would be, _Loki thought, as he spun about in a circle behind the man known as Selvig – who was currently drooling on what could only be a primitive correspondence device. Currently, the overly bright display showed a string of black letters moving across the screen to the left. Once it reached the end of the white area, it moved down, started a new row and repeated.

How quaint. Loki scratched the side of his head where his flesh had been burned in his fall to earth a few days ago. Newly healed epidermis and deeper tissues always itched the day after it was healed with only his power. He hated repairing tissue without a healing room. _By the light of the Bifrost, it itches so!_ He hated the fact that he had landed on such a primitive planet; in the most annoying turn of events it was now Loki himself who was exiled.

_Doesn't that just ruin one's fun?_

Loki exhaled and dropped his arms to his sides, both clapping on his legs. The human in front of him rolled out of his chair with a clatter, asleep the entire time. Loki snorted in disgust. This human was comparable to a de-haired Volstagg. Eat, sleep, drink. Repeat. Interspersed with a few hours of uniqueness.

Touching the human as little as possible, he nudged the beast the rest of the way out of the chair with the toe of his boot. Not that he thought this entire primitive race were brutish – no, that corporation that held Thor captive for a small amount time, S.H.E.I.L.D, wasn't so bad.

For a backwater planet.

But he might be skewing his interest in them just because they had over powered a Thor; that had been a riot._ Mustn't forget that nice bit of power the humans had found as well._

Loki stared at the interface in front of dully. He dismissed everything on the screen until his roving eyes landed on the word 'send'. He had seen the man Selvig, messing around with the…object connected by tubes to the screen. He moved it and a tiny pointer on the blaring screen moved as well. He made it move to the word 'send' and pushed a button. The screen lit up with the words 'Your message has been sent.'

Huzzah, good deed for the day.

Loki hoped he'd have some sort of idea to entertain himself tomorrow. This place definitely had more potential for mischief than Asgard. At least he hoped so, or he was in for a thousand years of boredom. If so, he figure something out.

.

"Erik? Why the hell did you send me a ten page email composed entirely of 'S'es?" Jane questioned her mentor with a raised eyebrow over breakfast at the little diner she, Erik and Darcy frequented.

"What? I don't remember doing that." Erik held his head in both hands as he moaned about a killer headache.

Jane snorted. "That's what you get when you go out all night." She pushed her fork through her plate of scrambled eggs, not once raising it to her mouth.

"It wasn't like that at all." Erik kept mute on the fact that he had met up with an old friend the night before. He wasn't sure Jane was ready yet to meet Nick Fury. He took a sip of coffee; his head was pounding. It was unanimous, he promised to never sleep on concrete floors again, he was much too old to appreciate the comfort they provided.

Jane continued to stare at him. Erik shook his head in denial once more. She quickly turned to the window of the café and sighed in misery when the blond tourist walking by was not the man she desired.

Erik reached across the table and gave one of her hands a gentle squeeze. "It'll turn out alright. Just you wait."

"I don't understand. Did you join an AA group?" Darcy squinted at him in confusion.

Jane and Erik both sighed. "No." They said in unison.

It was going to be a long day.

.

Loki was having the greatest day of his life. Transformed as a raven he practically radiated glee. He hopped back and forth on the ledge just inside the eatery his puppet had walked into. He had not realized just how much this pesky little human wanted Thor– and oh, what a wonderful plan!

He sincerely hoped Thor would be watching; it wasn't often he got a chance to completely thumb his nose at the god. If Thor ever found a way back to this place he'd have to hightail it out of here.

But oh! What fun it would be. With the added perk of enticing Thor to this planet faster, Loki would get out of self-created exile – _I will never ever meddle with the bifrost bridge again_– quicker, and leave this godforsaken planet. Literally godforsaken, who wanted to stay in such a primitive place?

_Definitely not me._

Loki hopped off the beam and opened his wings, slowing his descent to the tiled floor. Once there, he hopped closer to the table and cawed.

" What a pretty birdie!" The extra woman said as she pelted him with cooked eggs and a potato substance. He cawed louder this time as he tried to dodge.

"Darcy, stop!" The human who his new plans revolved around said.

"What? It looked hungry."

He most certainly did not. He ruffled his feathers and croaked at her. _Tramp._

"See? My hamster used to beg for food too." The twat-human paused for a second. "Although…that might have been because I forgot to feed it for a week."

He watched… Jane snag the arm of Selvig and whisper, "She is _not _allowed to have a pet." To which the man nodded emphatically.

_Enough of this; I have things to do, and people to screw with._

He cawed loudly catching the eye and hypnotizing the man. 'I think I should go take it outside.'

"I think I should go take it outside." The man parroted to the two women at the table. Selvig moved stiffly to his position and grabbed him – _Not so hard you fool! _

Selvig ran into the door head first before Loki allowed the man some focus back by lessening the strength of his hypnotism; just enough so that the man wouldn't look like a bumbling idiot. The door was open this time and his puppet made it through.

Just as the door slammed behind Loki and his carrier, he heard the moronic one still at the table say "I don't think his AA group is helping much."

.

Jane was not quite sure how to bring up the oddities that Erik had been displaying at breakfast without possibly suggesting that he really should join an Alcoholics Anonymous group. As far as she knew, that time with Thor had been one of the few nights he had drank himself unconscious.

Thor. God How she missed him. It had been less than a week without a sign of him. She refused to lose hope, and she knew many would call her a hopless romantic. After all, she had only known him for a few days. But… she knew she needed him from the first moment they had kissed – she knew her life would never be the same after that.

Even with lost hope she would still hold on months and years later. All because he had promised her he would come back. And Thor was not the type of person who would go back on a promise.

"Jane! Get in the Van! There's a disturbance to the east! Ten miles out of town!" Erik shouted as he rushed into the makeshift lab pointing a hand to the west.

"What kind of disturbance?" She asked as she swiveled in her chair toward him.

"One of _those_ disturbances! We have to leave now!" Erik rushed forward and grabbed her by the arm before yanking her toward the van.

"Are you sure?" Hope welled in her heart.

"Yes!" Erik said before smiling at her in the weirdest way she had ever seen.

Jane smiled back; in the distance she could see a dust storm touchdown in the distance. As she scrambled into the driver's chair; Jane hoped she wouldn't run Thor over this time.

.

"I knew you would come back, I never lost hope." She cried into his shoulder, tears absorbing into the red robe he had thoughtfully wrapped around her.

Loki hugged the human to his illusioned torso, much larger arms wrapped around her tiny fragile body. "You are the most important thing to me, my world revolves around you." He grimaced over her head; such words were only spoken by saps and his broth – no. Not brother. He smiled. Enemy was not the correct word either.

Adversary sounded good.

This was going to be _so_ _much fun_.

.

A galaxy away, a Thunder God roared in anger and despair.

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><p><em>Oh no! What a nefarious plot! Will Thor ever show, up? Will Jane ever find out she is dating The evil twin from space? Find out next time on: The Young and the Restless! <em>

Hm. That was fun, I just had to do it. So... what do you think?


	2. Chapter 2

Lady NeverAfterNon and I have some interesting future plans so check out her story if you haven't Batter Ice Cream and Thunder Gods

Might be a good idea to leave a review with who Jane should end up with as I'm leaving that to those of you who are reading this. I'll add a tally to the bottom and towards the end of the fic I'll lock it in. If it turns out to be pretty close, I'll make a spin off with the other end.

Not that I'd leave the other character hanging with no one/no other future catch, btw.

So let's get this on, eh?

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><p><strong>Cue the Evil Twin<strong>

_II_

.

.

_Where were the fist-bumps and manly shoulder grabs of yesteryear?_ Loki wondered, as the love of Thor's life squeezed his torso for the fifty-sixth time. He was amazed he hadn't punted her into a wall the first couple of times, as the only people that hugged him on Asgard tended to be Sif, when drunk out of her mind, and Frigga, who would always be his mother.

"I think it might be a good idea to get you out of those clothes, as good as they look on you. It practically shouts that you aren't from around here," Jane… said when she released him.

"Must I blend in with the locals?" He questioned. Loki was not looking forward to ditching his cape and gear, he happened to like green a lot, even if it was scarlet as it was with the Thor illusion on. It would be less of a drag on his powers if he kept things basically the same size. Thor liked capes as well so it all worked out. Wearing… the garments Thor had worn when he was first here meant he would have to shuck off a few layers or suffer more magic used in maintaining the illusion in the eyes of others.

She gave him a grin that was probably considered to be quite cute. He tried to return it before he found himself placed in the van of doom and its need to run over gods. She had almost hit him with the transportation machine when she had pulled it up. Having it stop an inch from his body was a bit… concerning.

Loki, in the form of Thor, soon found himself a situation quite often known on Earth as the bane of masculinity. Shopping with multiple women at a clothing outlet store. As he passed through the open door a chill tingled down his spine, as every person with the opposite gender zoned in on his entrance.

"Jane, I do not think this place is meant for me. These garbs…are foul," Loki said in Thor's voice.

"Perhaps, but right now you look as though you might be going to a renaissance fair dressed up in the wrong era," Jane said as she pulled him over to the men's section.

"This…Jane, the vibes I'm getting say to run. Unknown enemies lurk nearby."

She laughed in a breezy light tinkle, and he was pretty sure she was mocking him when she patted his shoulder. A sound from his left hand him turn with fist extended, mind running through useful spells. Clothes had always been gotten for him; he had never needed to search any. Darcy latched on to his arm and began to drag him toward a section he was quite sure no man had ever stepped foot in, Asgard god or weak earthling man. "Come'on! I want to see what you look like in pink!"

"This is a very unpleasant ordeal. Could you throw food at me again, instead?" Loki said, as he attempted to pry her fingers from his wrist.

"Huh?" The girl. Lady Lewis. Darcy said in confusion.

"Nevermind. After you, my lady." He said, gesturing deeper into the realm of pink apparel; hoping that she would release him. A quick getaway would be best in this situation, regardless if Thor would be brave enough to continue forward or not.

"Have you ever woken up in a chapel before?" Darcy asked him suddenly in a very cheery manner and he grimaced when she failed to release him.

"Chapel?" Loki shook his hand lightly, _'What would Thor do, what would Thor do_?' repeating as a mantra in his head.

"Nevermind. And idea for later, I guess." She smiled brightly up at him, and he realized what Thor would do in such an unconquerable situation.

"Jane!" Loki shouted from the depths of pink coverings and sparkling drapery.

.

"You aren't honestly going to wear that are you? It doesn't help you blend in at all," Jane asked an hour after saving him from…whatever that was. He was stared at in this food court place but at least he was able to ignore their stares by eating. It was odd that a few of the Earthers of Midgard swooned as they watched him. But he was not into sharing his sweet cooled chocolate dessert with any of them if that's what they were after.

Chilled sweet cream in hand, Loki pointed to a rotund man sitting alone at a table who wore a shirt quite close to his. "You said more color." He shrugged. Loki knew she was unhappy with his choice, but today had been made up of torturous events– he would be damned to the aether if he wasn't going to ruin someone's day. He saw no problem with two black bodysuits of the same make, but that sent his 'love' into a fit of conniptions, so he grabbed something in a shade that was appeasing to him even if it was possibly too bright.

"I suppose it doesn't matter too much. Thor, just say 'No' if anyone you don't know asks you to follow them alright?" She sighed. Oh yes, there was no way he would ever leave with any of the people here. They kept flashing lights at him and a few of the native women who seemed to inhabit this eatery showed signs of being cannibalistic, if he went by the unblinking stares.

"Hm?" Loki wasn't completely sure how Thor would have taken that, and in such situations it seemed better to be blissfully unaware.

"I have nightmares of someone taking you away, and you just going along with it because there are enemies nearby." Jane rubbed her forehead before looking at him in concern.

_Staring. What?_ Oh. He stood up. "If there are enemies nearby than I shall smite them at your behest! Do you wish for me to fight them now?" Loki shouted posing in a way he had seen Thor often do. A few people clapped. _Damn you intolerable flashes! Keep that up and I will show you ice!_

"No! There aren't any enemies here!" Jane said as she clawed at his wonderfully bright new covering. It was an attempt to make him sit down. She really could be rather cute in a dorkish sort of way. Like his favorite dog; before it got too fat from eating food tossed to the floor by his elder brother. _Condemnation! Must remember he is not my brother. _

"Hello." A feminine voice spoke up from behind Jane.

"Ack!" Jane shouted as she jerked into the flimsy white table.

"You are Jane Foster, correct?" The woman asked with a raised eyebrow. He liked this one, why couldn't Thor be solely attracted to her? It was sad enough that he had ditched his womanizing tendencies at home when he was exiled to here.

"Yes, but now isn't a great as you can see, I'm busy with–"

"Mr. Blake? Yes bring him along as well, I was told to find you both." The femme fatale cut her off and gestured for them to follow. Men were flashing lights at them now as well. Bothersome.

"How much do you cost?" Slipped out of his mouth after looking her up and down when they had entered an area clear of other humans.

"Thor!" Oh. Faux pas.

"More than you've got handsome. Time waits for no one. Let's go." The curly haired red head quipped before turning her back to the both of them and flagging down a black vehicle. A side door swung open and out popped his favorite puppet.

"Erik!" Jane shouted in surprise.

"Jane. I'm so sorry. I didn't want them to come after you yet." Selvig-pawn apologized. Loki shifted restlessly, he would rather know what was going on before more people randomly popped up. A body struck him from behind, and there was Darcy, who had somehow seen them leave the foodcourt. Curse these incompetents.

"Why do you apologize for nothing, my friend?" "What's this about?" He and Jane questioned simultaneously.

"This is about what you can do for your country." A darker man with an eye patch responded as they entered the innards of the car.

"Who the hell are you?" Jane said looking a bit frazzled. Loki liked this man already.

"Natasha Romanov." The man remained silent.

"This wouldn't happen to be coming from the department that stole my research, would it?" Jane questioned her voice dropping in pitch.

"We're meeting Agent Coulson at the airport. You can take that up with him; I've already got my own babysitting job thank you very much. And if the hour is correct, the tranks should be wearing off soon." The lady responded as the vehicle nearly flew down the road.

"You haven't explained what's going on yet!" Jane said in a frustrated voice. Loki was amused to see that like him, Darcy watched the sparing conversation with eyes roving quickly to each side as a new volley was thrown.

"We've had some trouble with a possible future… employee, and we need someone to take him down." The man answered with fingers steeped together.

"And I was to do this how?"

"Well. We need him for that really." He gestured to Loki who watched this conversation with interest. "A week ago, he said we were on the same team, now would be a good time to show that. In return, we'd like to set you working on the Tesseract."

"What is that?" Jane questioned voice brimming with curiosity as she leaned forward.

"Can't give you the file until you sign off for it," Natasha answered as she operated the vehicle; it bumped down the straight road moving at speeds much faster than those going in the same direction. Jane was quick to sign the papers after Erik gave her a slight nod. Loki shrugged.

"So what is your name?" Jane said as Darcy fiddled with a pen.

"I am Nick Fury, welcome to the team. Now we need to go head off Mr. Banner before he destroys anymore lab buildings at our compound in New York." Fury eyed the clothes Jane had thoughtful purchased for him. "Right now Banner almost matches that shade of green, though you won't find any Hawaiian flowers near him."

Loki shrugged and pinched his lime green aloha shirt. "This was the best shirt depicting my love for island shrubbery that I could find. May he give a good battle if he dislikes it."

"I have no doubt he will." Fury laughed.

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><p>Thanks for the reviews for the first chapter guysgals! As you can't go back and add which pairing you wanted I'll count you twice. There will be a scene with Thor next chapter, I haven't forgotten about the poor guy.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Thor.

Shipperwolf deserves some recognition for motivating me in to finishing this chapter by giving me a nudge! Enjoy :D

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><p><strong>Cue the Evil Twin<strong>

_III_

_._

.

It was a horror filled day in Asgard and the tables trembled with fear.

"How dare he do this!" Plates clattered to the floor as another innocent table was thrown into a wall. This one a small and dainty buffet server for two, it shattered as it struck hard rock.

"Thor, the tables have not challenged you. Why do you attack them so?" Sif questioned from her position near the world viewer screen alit with the image of Loki illusioned as Thor being ushered into a building.

"Loki, you! You..." Thor had no words for the actions of his younger brother. Yes, the man had come off a bit insane when he had taken Asgard for his own and his attempt at committing mass genocide against another race. But it was… not fair to play with the heart of his love. Oh, how he desired to rip Loki to shreds like paper. They could have a nice chat afterwards as well.

"Breathe in. She will discover him and question his actions, for the two of you seem destined at love. It must be writ in the stars." Hogun stated impassively as Fandral snorted at Loki's current antics shown in the viewer.

"Great- is what this is!" The red haired man laughed as Loki in the guise of Thor was forced to hunker down through a small metal arch. Each time he passed through, a red light went off above it. He was forced to walk back through to the beginning, remove something and try again. It was Loki's eighth try.

Finally, a man in black talked to the portal operators and Loki was able to pass through, though the light still went off. An old lady in the long line behind the impostor cheered as a family began to clap.

"I suppose it is sort of funny, he seems to be playing nice with these humans," Hogun said with an eyebrow raised.

"You cannot be serious! He does this to anger _me_! He will not have her!" With a dramatic swirl of his cape the thunder god left the room in a foul mood.

Hogun sighed as he turned to follow, Thor could be brutal on the brutally unsuspecting furniture.

He winced at the sight of a chair zooming out through what he hoped was a windowless opening. Behind him, Sif and Fandral pulled up some chairs to the viewer and got comfortable. With Asgard essentially on lock down, there was nothing better to do other than sit around or hunt.

Odin the Allfather smiled at his son's antics from his place in the throne above them.

"Why do you watch this?" Frigga asked as she delicately ate a piece of honeyed dried fruit from a small bowl.

"It gives me hope that my wayward son's heart may have the ice encrusting it melt. I will welcome him home with open arms when his journey is finished. I have no doubt he will come back more than he was when he left." Odin looked toward the viewer and smiled behind the back of his hand.

He found the situation entertaining as well. Anything was better than seeing the look of betrayal in his adopted son's eyes.

_Yes._

Just as Thor learned about himself on that planet, Odin suspected Loki would as well. He did not regret adopting the boy, and he had high hopes that his family would be reunited soon. All four of them together again.

After a few bumps of course. Odin chuckled silently at the thought.

"I can only hope you are correct, I… miss him so." Frigga said, a tear falling from her eye. Odin reached over and gripped his wife's wrist.

"Perhaps this has happened for a reason. Take heart, he will return to us. I do not need to hope that he is changing, for I can already see new seeds sprout in his actions." He paused as they watched Loki be ushered into a winged black airship. Under the guise of Thor, Loki was forced to lean down quite far just to fit through the opening.

"We will watch over him; this time his trick may backfire; into something good for him in a way he  
>had not meant."<p>

On the screen, Jane looked up at the clouded skies and smiled.

.  
><em>"Take my lips sir, for they have always been yours," she said as he held<em>_ her tightly against the concrete wall, his face buried in her shimmering locks._

_"Then they are mine, just as mine are yours." He__ rumbled above her earlobe as he nuzzled deeper into the soft strands of hair. "You smell of strawberries...and crisp clean mornings. I feel so alive," he said before taking the lips that she had freely offered. _

_They kissed__ deeply- an observer would have said that the earth moved for them. Darcy leaned forward as the couple, so tightly entwined, parted with a sigh before diving straight in again. _

_"Dearest Ja..." he mumbled into__ her mouth as their hands moved up and down each other in a frenzy of– _

"What the hell are you two watching?" Jane asked loudly, eyes gawking at the screen. The two lovers in a movie kissed with passion.

She shook the left over water from her newly rinsed hands. Agent Coulson had gone to discuss landing with the pilot leaving Darcy and Thor, to their own devices, while she was in the bathroom.

Obviously, this was a horrible idea, Jane planned on staying in the cabin from now on.

"I don't know…but it is… quite fascinating," Thor said, eyes not leaving the couple on screen. The lime green Hawaiian shirt Thor wore as he stared at the movie screen made him look bizarre.

Jane swore off visiting the restroom for the rest of the flight.

"Very much so! The earth moves for them, look!" Darcy sighed, as the lovers on the large television screen kissed again, hands smoothing out rumpled clothes. The masculine blond man grinned down at smaller woman before kissing her delicately again.

"They just… keep going," Thor said in a detached voice as the hero in the movie whipped out a pistol and shot a robot just as it burst in the room. Kissing the female lead the entire time.

Jane huffed slightly and her cheeks tinged a light pink unnoticed by the other two in the main cabin of the plane. She sat down as close as possible to Thor, in the seat behind him, and lightly tapped him on the shoulder.

"Yes, dearest Jane?" He muttered absently as more robotic creatures appeared on screen.

The cabin was rather large, with comfortable chairs in two parallel lines, the aisle running between them. But it was not well made for a romantic couple to sit together.

"Would you like to go see the rest of the plane? We could explore it a bit, as long as we stayed in the civilian areas." Oh, how she itched to see the parts that were confidential. Her cheeks got warmer at the thought that she was not opposed to sticking to the civilian areas as long as it was with Thor.

His eyes flicked up to the ceiling before landing on her face. Thor's eyes darkened in calculation, an odd look she had never seen on his face before.

"Are there more cans of soda?" he asked.

_Sigh._ "Yes. C'mon. We haven't had much of a chance to talk lately."

Thor paused. His eyes squinted a bit and a large grin lit his face. "For you, _anything_."

"Bring me back a drink, please!" Darcy shouted, eyes glued to the heroic lead protecting his lady love in the movie.

.

"This information on the Tesseract is amazing, I can't believe they found something like it on earth," Jane said as the door to the main cabin shut behind them.

"Hm?" Loki rumbled, hoping his boredom was not obvious. Jane liked to talk. Often.

"According to the information I was allowed to see so far, it has powers far greater than a different alien source found in Colorado. Amazing. I can't believe this has all been withheld from the world. The one they had hidden in the Hoover Dam seemed to have a similar energy reading, but both are different." She said pausing at one of the window openings, the blue of the sky going on forever.

At her talk of what the earthers called the Tesseract, Loki gave her his full attention. "No. Please continue Jane." He needed more information on this thing before he took it after all. Both of them.

Under the full force of his smoldering stare, she stuttered a bit before continuing. "The Tesseract was taken from the Nazis during WWII. Unfortunately, the government section protecting the one discovered in Colorado was decommissioned when the cube was destroyed."

Too bad, only one then. "But these sources were alike? What did the Nazis do with it?"

"It was taken away before they used it to destroy an entire population of people." Jane walked down the hall, Loki following behind her, remembering to lean forward slightly, least his head smack into any low ceiling partitions. In a way, this story seemed startlingly familiar. He did not quite like that.

"This population must have been dangerous," Loki said in the silence.

"No, it was nothing like that; they just weren't liked by the other. People can't do things like that, even if they were."

"Why?" Loki asked, curious to know her reasoning. Destroying the home of the frost giants would prevent the gods on Asgard from ever needing to go to war again. It would have proved himself as one of them as well– the strongest god. His hand absently reached up and ghosted over the newly healed skin on his face underneath the illusion.

"Because it's wrong. Even if they had done something wrong, you can't just destroy an entire group of people." Jane grabbed the handle of the door at the end of the hall. The plane shook slightly, a voice over the sound system reassuring everyone on the plane it was turbulence.

"Hm." Loki shrugged noncommittally.

They entered the second cabin containing the bathrooms, and in a cot across from them, a snoring Selvig slept. Jane moved silently through the cabin to the door on the other side, where the food storage was. His stomach rumbled in hunger and his throat was parched, this illusion took some energy out of him.

Bags of dried snack foods lined the counters restrained by a thin cord. He grabbed one of the bags, popped it open, and shoved a handful into his mouth as Thor-ishly as possible.

_Sometimes it paid to imitate a barbarian_, Loki thought as he munched loudly on his salty snack.

"How did it go on Asgard? Were you able to save your brother?" Jane asked suddenly from her position in front of the cold storage filled with delicious bubbly soda.

"Save him? From what?" He asked in bemusement though a second mouth full of food. Her slight flinch made him smile; he'd remember to give her a hug later.

"From ambition and loneliness. Did you succeed?" She pulled out a few drinks and placed them on the counter.

The snack food turned to ashes in his throat. "No."

"What happened?"

–_Sadness. Despair. Never good enough. Letting go. Falling into the abyss. Darkness, glimmering stars. Earth_–"He tried to destroy the world of the frost giants with the Bifrost to get his father's approval," Loki said, trying to block out the memory of the Bifrost being destroyed.

"Why?" She asked with her head cocked to the side.

"To prove that he was different from the _others_. To prove he was a god of Asgard." Loki stared at the ceiling gripping the snack bag tightly, chips crumbling to powder.

Jane moved forward and wrapped her arms around him, to the best of her abilities. For the first time since he had pretended to be his larger brother and she'd started to abuse his personal space, he didn't mind.

"I'm sorry Thor," she said squeezing him lightly, "But you'll have other chances to help him. If only he knew how good a brother you are. I hope he'll understand one day that you love him, no matter what. We _will_ figure out a way to get you back there after we help S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Yeah." Loki said with a confused frown, arms moving of their own will around her.

The voice sounded over the intercom asking for everyone to return to their seats. Jane unwrapped from around him and reached over for the drinks.

"I'll take them." Loki reached over, Thor's large muscled arms outreaching hers and grabbing the three cans.

"Alright, but be careful, if they get shaken, they'll shoot soda on whoever opens them. I'll go wake up Erik." She missed the slight smirk that replaced the lost, empty look from a few moments ago.

With Erik awake and stumbling, the three of them made their way to the main cabin, Loki smiling behind the other two as he shook one of the cans as silently as possible.

The movie he and Jane's little helper gnome had been watching now had the warrior enwrapped in stifling black garb next to an old mystic in a robe with a large book in hand. The romantic interest from earlier appeared on screen, draped in a white gown with a headdress concealing most of her face. Absently, Loki hoped the robots would attack again.

"I want my wedding to be just like that. You meet a guy, and poof you get married!"

Jane groaned, snatched the remote and killed the power. "Darcy, you know romances only happen that fast in movies. Isn't there something better on?"

"Maybe, but I can dream," she answered. Her eyes landed on him. Loki flinched. "Oh! Like your one friend! Is he available?" Darcy poked Loki in the side and he swatted lazily at her hand.

If he ever was on good terms with Fandral, he'd be sure to let the man know he'd gained yet another fan. Loki passed over the shaken can of soda and snickered when the girl shrieked as the sweet liquid sprayed out and drenched her.

.

_Not enough space, who would want to ride in one of these things more than once?_ Loki thought as Agent Coulson returned and sat down in the chair in front of the fake Thunder god.

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agent leaned back and it landed an inch from Loki's knees. The space in the cabin was far too small for him to sit comfortably; these chairs were obviously not made for one of Thor's stature. He moved a leg slightly and his knee smacked the chair in front, Agent Coulson was bucked forward.

The man in the dark suit leaned into the aisle and gave him a look that quite clearly said _'don't do that again._'

Loki raised an eyebrow at the challenge and smirked when the man settled back in. He raised another extremely muscled leg and the chair bounced forward once more. The agent looked at him with one eye squinted, a twitch developing in the other. Loki shrugged innocently, assured that in his guise, Thor's face looked angelic. When Coulson turned around once more Loki gave the chair another good thwack. And then another when the agent did not turn around.

"Stop it!" Coulson said, leaning into the aisle.

"Stop what?" Loki asked innocently, these earthlings were so easy to rile up.

"I still have those tranquilizer shots and admittedly– I _really_ want to shoot you right now," the agent said with a smile on his face.

"I do not know why, you have not been touched."

"This here you see? Yes? I own it. Don't touch it." The man said, pointing at the back of his flimsy chair.

"You own a very nice chair, is this all that you can claim to your name? If so, it is a very lovely chair," Loki boisterously shouted in an imitation of Thor.

Coulson nodded and whipped out a small firearm. "Very cute. See this? I could have you down like a water buffalo in less than a second. Don't tread on me."

Well. This wasn't much fun anymore. "I think I will go see what Jane is doing." Loki got up to move a chair back, to prevent the temptation of smacking the man's chair again.

"You do that." Coulson said, smiling before facing forward.

.

"Thor, its Loki. When he gets what he wants he'll leave her alone. She loves you," Hogun said running at the true Thunder God's side to the point of rebuilding. The building itself was crude compared to the others around Asgard. Within it, Heimdall was hard at work directing the builder drones and attempting to reshape the broken road and transportation device.

"If you are not correct he will be but a wall smear when I am done. Heimdall! How goeth the repairs?" Thor shouted to the man standing high up on a beam overseeing the structural repairs.

"Slow." His voice boomed down from above.

"Increase the speed! I must _speak _to my brother." Thor said before turning back the way he came.

"I bet." Heimdall chuckled from his position. The building drones made up of light picked up a fraction of speed.

* * *

><p>RR please. If you catch any mistakes let me know so I can fix'em.

Current standings.

Loki: 1

Thor: 1


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Thor.

* * *

><p><strong>Cue the Evil Twin<strong>

_IV_

.

.

Loki raised his arms to the sky and took in a deep breath. To the blue cloudless sky, so crisp and clear, he said, "Magnificent. Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?" A tank passed over his head and his blond locks– Thor's, raised in a golden halo.

"Thor! Look out! He's about to throw another!" Jane screeched over the intercom of the shielded building. As soon as they had arrived, Loki had been ushered out on to the roof.

Yes, the bright green giant was about to toss another. The chaos was wondrous to behold. Loki admired Banner's style, the panicked shouts were a symphony to his ears, but the man lacked finesse.

Small fires burned intensely near partially collapsed military bunkers. Burst pipes shot fountains of water into the sky. Sirens and alarms blared, from black smoking buildings to smashed cars. Flocks of white coated earthlings moved behind those wearing armor. Large vehicles shot a spattering a shrapnel at the green form– who just shrugged it all off.

A second tank came hurtling at him, and Loki ducked down just in time. The armored vehicle smacked into a pristine glass tower, taking off the top three levels.

"You can't take him out unless you get on the offensive." Agent Coulson's irked voice rang out above the destructive chaos.

"Yes, of course," Loki muttered under his breath trying to compile some sort of plan to defeat this monster without blowing his cover. He needed to get this battle going where he wouldn't be seen. Loki would need to use magic on this guy.

"He shall fall beneath the might of Mjolnir!" Loki shouted in Thor's voice with an empty hand raised and pointed at his supposed enemy.

The loud speaker crackled.

"…Where is it then?" Coulson asked as Loki continued to pose. The monster of a man down below swatted a few careening missiles off course exploding a wall and showering concrete over the compound.

Loki's eyes bugged out a little before he subsided into a cool calmness and flourished his hand once more, a glowing hammer illusion materializing.

"Here come I, foul beast!" Loki shouted as he jumped from the ledge overlooking the scene of the fight and down into the chaos below.

.

_Okay. This is not very fun. A head to head fight? I don't think so,_ Loki thought. He hunkered behind a slab of outer wall resting on the destroyed road.

This was not a battle he would be able to fight as Thor, no; this monster seemed quite powerful compared to the normal earthen fare.

Perhaps this wasn't the waste bin of the universes after all.

The jolly green giant roared and continued to annihilate a building that had wronged it. Gamma radiation must have fried its brain.

The plan was easy as far as Loki was concerned. He needed to lure it into an area alone. And well, the brunette that was obviously the green one's friend had given him an easy out. It was the game he was already playing with Jane after all. Loki grimaced at the thought of it gender swapping once more; the last time he had pulled that card out, the stories had spun out of control.

Distract one stallion and give its enhanced foal as a gift to the All-Father pegged him as the _mother_ in of Sleipnir in every story; damnation on Harr for spreading that.

He wasn't interested in work animals _that_ way, thank you very much.

The chunk of pavement he was crouched behind rumbled and moved skyward. The 'Hulk', as Coulson called him, stood with the giant piece of concrete hefted over his head, powdered dust and small rocks dropped to the ground. Loki, still in Thor's form, stared at the viridian monster.

"..Hello."

The Hulk roared.

Loki rolled backward, just missing the wall slam down on his body. He dodged to the left and behind the hulked out Banner.

"Hulk…._Smash_!" Banner shouted angrily, slamming his large green fists into the ground. Cracks in the road sprung up from the epicenter.

Beneath Loki's feet, the pavement buckled before splitting, sparking wires ripped apart revealing an underground corridor.

"These people are like furry rodents, tunnels everywhere," Loki muttered to himself as a large smirk graced his features. _Perfect._

Loki looked up at the green behemoth heading his way. "Let's try that one more time, big guy!"

He released a charged explosive casting just as the fake Mjolnir impacted the cracked ground. Dust filled the air as the earth consumed them both, depositing them in an underground facility. Sparks falling from the cables above lit flammable materials near the edge creating a perfect smoke screen from those looking down from above. The burning fabrics enshrouded the room in black smoke; water sprinkled down from the ceiling.

For the first time in what felt like a long while, Loki released the form of his brother, body shrinking to his shorter, lanky stature. The green flowery shirt was much too large; Loki grimaced at its length, but there was no reason to alter it now.

The floor rumbled nearby as rubble shifted before exploding outward revealing the Hulk.

An angry one.

"Now now. You're threatening my freedom off this dust ball," Loki said flicking pebbles off the edge of his shirt sleeve. "So, I'm going to have to take you out. Pity. I'm sure we could be great allies."

The Hulk charged at him with a hearty bellow. A gigantic emerald fist plowed into Loki's body.

Then through it.

"Well. Perhaps minion would be a better word for you," Loki said from behind his current attacker. The Hulk turned about and jumped onto Loki, who vanished.

Another illusion.

"Hm... even that might be too much." Loki said hanging from the ceiling.

"Behold!" Loki shouted, pointing over the shoulder of the incoming Hulk. Without looking away from his prize the Hulk jumped upward at him before Loki could move. Banner's thick fingers wrapped around his throat.

_Danger! Danger!_

"Okay…not how I wanted to do this… but you can't seem to play by… the script," Loki wheezed as he grabbed at the larger arm to keep his weight up and off his neck.

The Hulk lifted Loki up to his face and roared.

_Gross. _Loki squinted as flecks of spittle hit his nose and cheeks. _Now or never,_ he thought, his form rippling into a new one.

Loki's hair grew longer and lightened to an auburn shade; his face became softer and less angular. Eyes changed to a pale blue as his lips morphed to a wine shade. As approximate as he could get to Betty Ross' face and figure with only a brief meeting.

"…B..Betty?"

_So the beast could talk after all._

Loki gasped in as much air as possible when his neck thinned while franticly holding on.

"Hmph, Betty," the mutated form of Banner rumbled, gripping him about the waist and lowering him to the rocky floor.

Loki looked straight up into the monstrous face from his position on the ground, and realized that the Hulk was extremely large. Larger than he thought at least – Ross didn't seem much shorter than the average human.

Banner leaned down and crouched on his knees, staring unblinkingly into the face of Betty Ross. A nerve spasmed underneath Loki's right eye and he took a step back.

Noisy blades whirled overhead, a helicopter if he remembered correctly. They rode in one from the airport to S.H.E.I.L.D's base. He was running out of time.

"How do I get you to calm down faster?" Loki mused. He looked down at himself and wrinkled his nose. The shirt ended near his knees, not form fitting at all.

"Betty."

"Yes, yes. That's me," Loki said idly waving a hand at the pacified creature. Shards of light cut through the smoke, the fires were going out. _Time to wrap this up._

"Now I– Ack!" Loki shouted in surprise when Banner pulled him to the large green torso.

"Um, I don't quite like this." Loki laughed uneasily from his position against the green man. The pounding heartbeat of the Hulk seemed to be slowing; every burst of energy running though Loki's body shouted '_Nothing good can come from this! Escape!'_.

Loki looked up when he noticed the arms getting closer to his body. The face was coming down closer as well, the Hulk's eyes closed.

Loki panicked and broke from the enclosed arms and the Hulk, who was not so green anymore– or nearly as massive, grunted as he collapsed face first into the floor. A boring and safe human once more.

Loki sighed in relief; he wasn't too sure how that last part was going to play out… and he'd rather not think about it.

"Betty?" The half naked dirty human asked from the mud and debris he had landed in. Banner, what Loki assumed was Banner's normal body, looked up at him blearily.

Loki still looked like Ross. He smiled sweetly and walked over to the downed man. Banner struggled to turn over; when he succeeded, he grinned upward at the person he believed to be Betty Ross.

Loki looked down at the grungy man, and the smile on his face warped into a smirk. Loki's leg shot out and he kicked Banner in the head just hard enough to knock him out.

Loki laughed out loud when Banner didn't move.

"I win!" He gloated as his body grew in stature and Loki became himself again.

The smoke screen obscuring his fight against Banner faded to little more than a grey shroud. Jane was calling down from above and beams of light searched for the two combatants.

"Just in time," Loki said as he resumed Thor's form.

.

"I just don't understand it, Jane! The van! It's missing! Everything gone. All our research, gone!" Erik Selvig shouted later that evening when the power was restored to the main compound.

"Vans don't just get up and walk away. I'm sure the police will find it." Jane stirred the cream in her coffee mug before taking a sip. The four of them had been granted a general living wing for their stay at S.H.I.E.L.D's headquarters. She and Erik had taken command of the coffee pot after the fiasco with Banner demolishing the place had been solved.

It was funny in a way. Thor didn't seem all that enthused when the poor scientist had come by to apologize. There seemed to be a minimum distance Thor required between the two of them. She shrugged.

_Whatever._

"The last time we had data stolen you went on a rampage. What's changed?" He asked looking through a cabinet. Erik's nose wrinkled in distaste when he discovered a jar of peanuts. Unsurprising– Erik had a peanut allergy that made him rather ill if he ingested any.

Not finding anything useful, he slouched down at the table; his full attention on her, as if waiting with baited breath for a screaming fit.

The corners of Jane's lips twitched upward. "I have copies hidden away in a safety deposit box."

Erik leaned back and sighed in relief. "One thing in our favor." He grimaced. "We'll still have to build everything from scratch though…"

"Uh huh," Jane said as she fiddled with the few pictures taken of the earlier battle scene. She felt slightly guilty, in her wish that Thor had kept the battle where they all could see. When he had fallen through the pavement she had been worried for his safety as well.

"Jane? Are you even listening to me?"

"Uh huh." She grabbed a picture and held it up to the light. "This picture looks distorted, why are there ripples on his face?" Jane mumbled to herself.

"What?"

"Look, right there!" Jane placed the picture on the table and tapped the right side of the Thunder God's face.

The picture itself showed an enraged Thor partially obscured by smoke standing in front of Banner's Hulk transformation. The smoke covered most of Thor's body. The security cam that had taken it had been pulverized by rock. Nothing else was recoverable from it.

"That is odd. His skin looks paler– and his eye looks off. Different shape. The quality of this picture is pretty bad. If this was the camera Banner tossed, no wonder."

"Everything else in this picture looks fine. It's just his face that is… odd."

"Jane. Faulty equipment easily explains it. He looked fine in the picture Darcy took of him."

The storm in Jane's face cleared. "He did, didn't he?" Her chair squeaked across the white linoleum. "Erik, you wouldn't happen to have a camera would you?"

He looked up from the paper frowning in confusion. "Yes. In my bag. Why?"

"I need to borrow it."

.

It was an entertaining thing, Loki found, watching the humans clean up after the mess one of their own kind had caused. Clusters of people with armored vehicles moved piles of rubble. Like colonial bug groups they worked together as a unit, and Loki was sure they'd have this place cleaned up relatively fast for the primitiveness of their technology. It would probably be done in less than a century.

The window in the room he had chosen as his own had a great view of the destruction. In fact he made sure to choose the one with the best view, his needs came first after all.

A knock rattled against his door, and Jane poked her head in before he could answer it. Loki would remember to lock it next time. It would do to have someone waltz in if he decided to be himself for a while. And it annoyed him when people invaded his privacy.

He stayed on the bed staring out the window as she came inside and sat down on a rocker in the corner.

"What do you need?" He asked eyes still glued to the darkening evening.

"You only came out for food earlier. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. _Is_ everything okay?"

"My battle wounds have healed. I shall not bleed out on the spot." Loki smirked at her before turning back to the window.

"That's good. I wouldn't know how to help. I switched my major early in college. I was almost a nurse," she said before joining him on the bed. Loki's mouth twitched down slightly and he inched over. His eyes were drawn back to the crew rebuilding; like a delicious cut of meat, Loki would always remember the tank from earlier shatter the glass tower. What a fond memory.

"What do you see when you look out there?" Jane asked.

"The scene of a glorious battle. Carnage and triumph."

Her eyebrows rose at his answer. "Really?"

"Yes. The water shooting from that pipe yonder formed a wonderful cascade." Loki said, Thor's eyes glittering in interest.

"A wonderful cascade? Thor, that jet of water was strong enough to kill someone."

"Perhaps." He glanced at her through his periphery, as he wracked his mind for a better answer. Ah! "When the sun hit it a certain way it formed a rainbow." Loki smiled and nodded.

"…Sure. But it was still very dangerous."

"Yes, there is danger in chaos. But there is also beauty… once in a while." Loki answered running a hand through his currently blond hair.

"There's a saying here on earth. 'Every flower has its thorns.' Sometimes it applies to people as well."

Loki mentally flinched at that thought; he could list a few goddesses that could easily fit.

"Thor?" Jane asked fiddling with a piece of handheld earth technology.

"Hm?"

"You seem different… like a whole new person."

An interesting understatement. Apparently, he needed to try harder.

"My love for you has changed me." Loki reached for her empty hand and ceased the bothersome fiddling.

"Hold still." She raised the device to her face, surprising him.

"Jane wha– " The gadget in her hand, like so many others at the mall, flashed brightly at him. Loki's vision filled with spots.

* * *

><p>Thor: 2<p>

Loki: 2

If it did go Thor/Jane, I'd probably go Loki/Sif. I have plans for Darcy– that probably won't seem very original when I get there. Oh well. It should be funny at least.

Hm, I know I've taken a bit a free rage with the mythology, i.e. Sleipnir, but I really can't quite seen movieverse Loki preggers with a horse. I might spin a few others differently as well, so heads up if that happens?

Next chapter might be more earth happenings or possibly a Thor-centric one with Asgard. I haven't chosen yet.

R/R please. If you catch any mistakes let me know so I can fix'em.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own anything made by marvel.

* * *

><p><strong>Cue the Evil Twin<strong>

_V_

_._

_._

The realm of Asgard, home to the gods of the Aesir; warriors brave and strong preparing for the night as the light in the sky faded to dusk. Many with axe and shield waiting at bedsides, ready at the slightest chance of an invasion of their homeland. They are ever vigilant to the possibilities of a frost giant attack due to the broken peace between the two nations. These are the protectors and guardians of the nine realms. But even gods as valiant as they are have problems.

In the highest room in the tallest tower if a god were to look out the north window towards the slowly rebuilding bifrost, a small speck could be seen sitting in the middle of the bridge leading out of the city. The multi-hued surface of the path glittered and shined around the yellow and red speck like a beacon in the night.

Thor stared out at the dark depths brushed with a chaotic smattering of stars in silent contemplation. All around him universes and galactic formations winked in and out, light travelling toward him from billions of miles away. His back hunched over as his right hand cradled his stubbled chin.

Beneath his thighs the bridge answered back with shimmering colors imbedded in the black opalescence.

He cared for none of it. It was no longer as beautiful to him as it once was.

Thor closed his eyes imagined the warmth of Sol dance across his skin, the smell of the mortal's machines. The smells and images he conjured up from memory came hand in hand with the one person he dearly wished to see.

Jane.

Memory could not hold a candle to who she was in reality. With each passing day he felt as if he was forgetting her. Not on purpose of course, no– never! But the smallest things about her he was not able to recall. With Loki down there parading about as an imposter, he could not be sure if memory was all he'd ever have.

Thor heaved a deep sigh and opened his eyes the stars appeared all the more sad. He turned from the length of bridge leading to the bifrost and scooted closer to the edge. The connecting bridge was as straight and solid as it was before, but Thor was sure this was the point where his brother had dropped.

Thor chewed the inside of his lip as he wondered once more what would have happened if he had fallen at the same time his brother had.

_Would I have made it to Earth as well? _

He quickly stood up and winced at the stiffness in his muscles before his thoughts returned once more to his position. Thor put one foot to the edge of the bridge and bent forward to get a better look at the space below.

More swirls of color and stars against a black backdrop. The cosmos dancing within view.

He leaned further off the edge, to the point where it would be precarious and imagined falling the rest of the way through the heavens.

"Are you sure you'll reach Midgard that way?" A feminine voice spoke up suddenly from behind him.

He tipped forward in surprise as he turned his head to identify the intruder of his silence.

"Urk," Thor grunted as his hands moved outward in an attempt to regain his balance, but he still pitched forward into the empty space.

Thor's mind raced when he felt his body continue to fall forward, his arm motions proving futile.

_Will I make it?_

Suddenly, the upper portion of his breast plate tightened, and Thor ceased his downward fall.

"Flying would be easier with Mjolnir in hand, would it not?" Sif commented from behind him humorously.

"Sif! You almost sent me over the edge!" He shouted with a slight grin. Once his balance had been regained, he moved away from the edge.

Sif put her hands on her hips, tilted her head upward.

In a smug voice she replied, "Yes. I have pulled you back from the edge of madness."

"I was not going to jump."

In the silence that followed Sif raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms; a stance that let him know his answer was not as believable as he had hoped. In the back of his mind, he felt the slightest bit guilty as he had been contemplating the idea.

"On the house of my ancestors, I swear I was not!" Thor stated once more, unsure if she believed him. Unsure if he believed it himself. If jumping off the Bifrost guaranteed that he would land in Midgard he would have done it already. There was little going on in Asgard at this time, no crisis that it could not handle. And while a frost giant attack was highly probable, he knew the warriors of Asgard would push them back to their domain. If the frost giants attempted to take over Midgard once more he was unsure of the mortal's abilities to stop them.

Thor straightened as the one thought that kept him from jumping reared its head, these were his people and he would put their needs first before his own.

"Come Thor. You've sat here long enough and it is not helping them complete the bifrost any faster."

"I need to be here. My brother needs to be dealt with at the soonest possible time, before anyone else comes at us. I need to be ready." Thor kneeled down and sat at his place on the flat cold surface of the Bifrost. Here and there, flickers of light ran through the dark glossed surface.

Sif sighed as she gracefully dropped into a sitting position across from him, arms wrapped around one knee.

"I know. But I don't think dwelling on it out here will help. I know you want to punch his face in, cut off his hair dye what's left, and…" She started. Unnoticed to her, Sif's hands had begun to make wringing motions in the air.

The sight of her hands dramatically choking an imaginary neck sent the side of Thor's mouth quirking upward.

"…then I'd dangle him off a balcony for everyone to see until he apologizes profusely in the most embarrassing way possible." She finished, her eyes focused out into the distance as she idly played with a lock of her black hair.

Sif made an exasperated noise when she realized she was fiddling with her hair and brushed it all back behind her shoulders with her hands.

"Hm." He shrugged noncommittally, holding back a smile.

"Really? You plan on just letting him off?" She asked with widened eyes.

"I never said I was not going to punch him."

"Good. We will tar him as well. And– "

"You know what?" Thor burst out suddenly. "I want to know why. Why did he do all of this? What was the point?" He grimaced at the thought of the malicious trick that Loki had last played on him.

It had affected numerous people; the ones he had interfered with directly and those he had not. The frost giants had declared war once more on the people of Asgard. The bifrost was getting something of an upgrade at the same time as its rebuilding: a burning red flame that would deter any frost giant from entering it until peace was made once more.

He hoped the destruction caused by his brother to the frost giants would have the ire of Jotunheim placed solely on the shoulders of Asgard. The mortals on Midgard would not be able to face the frost giants alone.

"Having a reason beyond fun and games? That would be new." Sif stated under her breath. She looked up at him and said, "now, how about we go over to the training grounds; I need someone to practice against."

"Sif, I must wait here," he reminded her.

"But Volstagg fights in the manner of a rock, Fandral and Hogun won't move from the viewer. You'll have to do. So let's go!" She reasoned.

Thor shook his head slightly as he remained seated on the bridge.

"Do you remember when we were kids and you laughed when I said 'I'm going to be the first female warrior'?" She said, still trying to convince him to leave his chosen post.

"Yes." Blue eyes flicked over to her face then back to the light given off by the slowly reconstructing bifrost.

"And I kicked you in the shin and held you in a submission hold on the ground before –"

"Yes! What is your point?" Thor shouted exasperated. His cheeks turned slightly pink at his long ago actions.

"My point is. That you. Are afraid." Sif said slowly, confident as ever, a smug grin creeping over her face.

"Afraid?" Thor questioned loudly, caught off guard.

"Yes, afraid. Afraid that I will take you down quicker than I would a hind." She added flippantly and snapping her fingers.

"I am afraid of no such thing – because it would never happen." Thor declared in mock indigence.

"Until you can prove it then I shall let the others know you are unable to win against me and that I know stand as the most powerful, strongest, mightiest…."

"And modest?" Thor questioned while holding in a smile.

"Yes, modest!" She shouted. "Of the four of us!"

He stood up, stretched his arms, and rolled his shoulders.

"Of the four of us? Sif you can't claim such a thing."Thor laughed heartily. "I alone – even without the power of Mjolnir, am faster than you. Meaning that I can reach the enemy before you and get off more hits. Why, I'm as fast as that shooting star!" He said, pointing over to his left. When Sif was looking off to the side, he took off running for the mainland; footsteps soft against the bridge to the bifrost then pounding when he stepped up his gait.

"That is not true at all!" Sif shouted to the spot where Thor had been standing. "Everyone knows that I am the fastest! And most swift – Thor Odinson! Get back here and make it a fair race!" She shook her fist at his swaying cloak moving father towards the city before chasing after him.

.

"I hope you know that you only won because you started first!" Sif said at the entrance to the city. Thor leaned against the wall of the gate, panting slightly in victory. Behind them, the bifrost seemed to stretch out for miles.

"No you won. I cheated." Thor closed his eyes and smiled. "You won."

"Good." Sif nodded in affirmation. "Then as race winner you shall accompany me to the fighting grounds."

Thor looked back over his shoulder toward the rebuilding transportation center at the edge of the bifrost.

He hesitated.

"C'mon Thor. Please? For me? It will make you feel better, I promise." Sif pleaded, looking him straight in the eyes.

He looked once more out to the bifrost before turning his head toward the lady warrior and nodding.

"A little while won't hurt I s uppose."

She smiled happily.

"Good. You've done nothing but sit around and mope all day. You might reach the size of Volstagg if you continue that for any longer," Sif said. With her hands she mimed a larger gut on herself.

"I would never!"

* * *

><p>The next update will not be such a long wait, all my summer stuff was squared away so now I find myself with more time! LJ seems to be the choice, but I think I can keep this entertaining enough for all.


	6. Chapter 6

This one owns nothing made by large corporate companies that could be resellable for vast amounts of money.

* * *

><p><strong>Cue the Evil Twin<strong>

_VI_

.

.

The janitors residing and working at S.H.E.I.L.D. Headquarters were used to large messes.

Training room gear covered in sweat. Blood splattered on the floor from broken noses and cut gums. Trails of slime left on the floor by God-knows-what just created by a newbie lab tech. Blast marks on the wall and burnt flesh left behind when a security agent decided to take out the previously mentioned slime depositing lab grown creature.

Just your everyday messes that occurred in the building.

Lately though, excluding the massive destruction caused by the new color-changing temp scientist, chaos and messy disorder seemed to be on the light side. Many were cautiously hoping it would be a new trend.

But this, Janitor 005 eyes twitched as he pondered the situation, seemed to be the calm cleanliness before the storm. He sloshed the mop up and down in the soaped up waters as he scoured the corridors for an accident, or even a muddy foot print in the main building. Each immaculate corridor he passed raised the hairs on the back of his neck. An agent picked up a wrapper that missed the trash can and threw it away personally.

Janitor 005 felt tense.

The last time these hallowed halls had been so clean, a pipe had burst in the unstable technology wing, coating the floors in blue repulsion gel. The entire interior had to be restructured as the bouncy goo had coated everything.

Oh, yes. Something was coming. In a childishly innocent voice, the word '_soon_' echoed in Janitor 005's mind. He shivered.

_'Soon'_

.

"I'm telling you, there's something off about him." Jane Foster frowned as she examined the photo again.

"Jane. We haven't known him for very long. Perhaps…this is just a facet of his personality?" Erik said. The microwave beeped. He brought over two mugs full of coffee and a plate of reheated eggs on a tray. The older man gently placed them down on the only cleared spot on the table before taking a seat himself.

The building rumbled. A light above the door flashed red before the overhead PA system turned on.

_Hallway B-35 is under fumigation due to toxic waste spillage. Conversion gel leakage in test sphere B-8 through 16. Do not enter. I repeat, do not enter. Primary janitors, would you kindly make your way to the spill. Thank you, that is all._

The door leading out to the main corridor slammed open as a much too gleeful looking Thor walked silently through the living area and into his private room, locking it with an audible click. On his way, he left behind white footprints as if he had stepped in spilled paint.

Jane's brow rose. This was exactly what she was talking about. She had a sneaking suspicion he was the cause of the panicked voice on the PA.

"No. I'm pretty sure this is something– someone else." Jane concluded flatly.

Erik covered his eyes with a hand and took a deep breath. He raked his fingers through his hair and plopped himself down at the table in front of the tray of scrambled eggs he had taken from the cafeteria and reheated. Erik slid one of the mugs over toward his friend. He mumbled something incoherent about Occam's razor.

"Well, how did the pictures look?" he asked, mind on other things.

"Nothing. There's nothing wrong with it." Jane held up the picture in hope that the evidence she needed would suddenly become visible. She squinted at it in the light. "But still, I know this isn't him."

"Hm. Well. I don't know how true they could be... but the legends of old – well. A few of them were able to shapeshift." Erik said in a voice unsure if he believed what he was saying.

"That has to be it!" Jane smiled widely. She snatched at the nearest thing– a salt shaker, and with her mind on the implications of a highly advanced race changing form, dumped salt into her coffee.

"Jane! Think this through, before you do something stupid," the older man said intently watching her face.

"Don't worry! I'm not." She looked at the salt in her hand in confusion.

"But we've gone through this before; we haven't even known him for very long."

Her face pinched slightly at the subject they had rehashed over and over again. She leaned forward and said with a smile and firm voice, "I know that I'm right! I just need to do some research!" With that, Jane grabbed his coffee cup and darted from the room.

Erik sighed at her retreating back. He reached across the pictures on the table and pulled the only remaining mug of coffee closer. A bit of cream and sugar made their way into the cup.

"Elixir of Life" he muttered to himself. With a well used hand he flicked the stir stick cleanly out of the coffee mug and took a large gulp.

His eyes widened before spitting onto the table.

.

"Damn it." Loki cursed under his breath as he shoved the bifrost viewing eyepiece angrily back into his pocket. He tapped his fingers over the slight bulge of the magic device and tilted his head back up toward the ceiling he had just looked though. His hand moved toward the top of his pocket, as if to take the object out again for a second look at the slowly restructuring Bifrost, before he jerked his hand roughly away. With his illusion off he slumped down onto the bed in the corner near the window.

"I should have realized they'd pull something like this." He muttered to himself in the light of midmorning.

He massaged his brow with three fingers and grimaced at the thoughts and questions darting through his mind as he tried to find a way around the newly installed obstacle.

"Red energy, huh? To keep out the frost giants… and me from using it?"

His eyes narrowed to slits as a memory from his childhood, long forgotten until now, surfaced.

_"Loki! Loki! Father's going to let us ride in the Bifrost today! Let's go!" A young Thor shouted as he bounced into the room._

_"I know. Father told us last night." Loki moved from the table. The dark haired boy gracefully walked towards his older brother and the door, anticipation showing in his eyes._

_"Let's go!" Thor shouted, and the two boys took off running._

_In the control room of the Bifrost generator, Heimdall looked on at the harried father attempting to calm his children enough for their first ride through the Bifrost. Beaming down on a planet surface in a puddle of vomit was not something anyone wanted to land in. The first few times through it were always the hardest._

_"I want to go first! I want to go first! I'm the eldest." The blond ecstatically crowed. _

_"You got to go first last time! It's my turn now." The younger version of Loki stated. He stepped closer to the opening rainbow portal._

_"Wait Loki. Thor will go first." Loki pouted and crossed his arms. Thor jumped up and down with a large grin on his face._

_"Now boys, remember. Mouths closed and don't move around. Do not panic. But if you do, know that larger men than yourselves have. You will go –"_

_"Separately because it is our first time and if we get sick and throw up it won't be on each other and if I show up in a place with monsters –"_

_"Thor," Odin chuckled at his the antics of his eldest son, "Settle down now. There are no enemies to be found in the area we are heading to." Thor made a noise of disappointment and his shoulders slumped. "Move in front of the portal please and try your hardest to stand still."_

_Thor perked back and ran over vibrating in excitement. A minute later he was gone._

_"But it was my turn…" the remaining boy said._

_"I know." The Allfather sighed. "Come with me."The Ruler of Asgard gestured the boy back toward the door they hand entered through._

_"But what about – " Loki mumbled as he stomped to the door._

_"There are guards waiting for him to emerge. I am most sure he will find something or someone to bother." Odin said._

_The Allfather whipped quickly around and made a few unknown hand motions. He grabbed Loki's are above the wrists. Just as the boy had time to register what was happening, he felt a slight burning tingle and his father had released his arms. _

_"What was that!" The boy cried out in surprise._

_"Just a bit of sorcery."_

_"Why? What did it do, father? I feel all tingly." Loki held a hand up and studied the rapidly fading redmark on his lower arm._

_"That will fade soon. It is an extra precaution for travelling the bifrost." The Allfather stated in a tone Loki had rarely heard his father speak in. The older man's eyebrows seemed slightly drooped, giving him the appearance of a man carrying the weight of the world._

_"But what did it do? You didn't do it to Thor." _

_Odin kneeled down and gently grasped Loki's shoulder._

_"Just an… added layer of safety. As long as you believe in it and in me, you will come to no harm. I will speak of it no more. " He said before face to face with his youngest son._

_"You can do things like that? With sorcery?" Loki's eyes lit up in wonder._

_"Sorcery is the art of outwitting an opponent in battle. There is little you cannot do if you set your mind to it." Odin Allfather smiled as his single eye seemed to look beyond his son._

_"Please, will you teach me father?" The lightly freckled boy pleaded, he had never felt as capable as Thor or Sif with heavy weaponry._

_"One day, when you grow a bit older I will grant you the opportunity to learn from the wisest in the land." Odin chuckled and stood up once more. He lightly clapped his son's shoulder's before spinning him around and nudging him back to the Bifrost._

_"Thank you, father."The young boy smiled. He walked over to the spot his brother had stood in a few minutes before; ribbons of light wrapped around him comfortingly as he was whisked away to their destination._

"Damnation." He had forgotten that. It was obvious now that he was different from other Asgardians, and only after knowing his true race did any similar memories he had match up and make sense. Loki scowled at his inability to realize what he was earlier in life.

He raised his arms above his face and stared at at his pale unclothed skin. They looked just as they always had, though he scrutinized every inch of smooth skin between his elbows and wrists. With no way of knowing whether the "safety spell" had been removed, and he was more than sure it was, Loki would have to come up with his own means of protection.

He would have to do some research.

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><p><em>AN: Skyrim – consumer of days. I used to write and read fanfiction often, then I took an arrow in the knee. :P_

Thank you for reading, please review!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything of Marvel's.

**A/N:** I know a lot of people skip through author notes because, well – they aren't part of the story. In the past, I've done it a few times myself. But if you are still reading this, take a moment to close your eyes and imagine what life would be like with a severely limited Google, no Wikipedia, Facebook, Deviantart, or Fanfiction. Crazy, no? An act will be voted on by Congress this year that has the possibility of destroying these very things. Inform yourselves about** SOPA**; and spread it in any way you can – news stations don't seem to be mentioning it very much. :/

Onto the next chapter, please read and review!

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><p>.<p>

**Cue the Evil Twin**

_VII_

.

.

He needed a good spot to attach his library to this plane of existence. It had to be easy enough to enter, but in a place no unwanted person would venture into. Ultimately, Loki decided that the ice box held enough delicious irony for it to be the spot. Good thing these Earther rooms came with a small fridge for hoarding meals and drinks when you wanted to ignore everyone else.

A couple of anchoring runes scratched into the side, a drop of blood and a thirty minute ritual chant later and Loki had himself a cozy little void space library within the freezer next to the frozen concentrate and TV dinners.

Loki looked up at the building with a mischievous smile. No one would have any reason to open his freezer and attempt to step inside; it was hidden perfectly in plain sight. The grounded magic concealing the dwarven architecture would keep it unseen and concealed by touch. The only way to find the front entrance would be to step inside.

_By the Gods I am amazing! _The miniature form of Loki thought as he puffed out his chest standing in front of the library he carried in a sub-dimensional pocket. By his approximate guess he had to be about a third of a finger tall a rather dangerous body modification spell – if used in than hand of any other. Few magic users seemed to be at his level of technical precision; with some of them, you were just as likely to wind up with a few of your innards on the outside.

The two-story building, a gift from one of his past teachers housed a few thousand books Loki had collected throughout his time as a lower student in the study of magic. Not that he was an apprentice for long, with his mind made up he focused on magical learning with the zeal he had typically used only for pranks and exploring.

As an added bonus, Heimdall and his all-seeing creations could not see him here. Loki smirked; he would be using that to his advantage.

"Sometimes," Loki said to himself, "It is what you don't see that screws with people the most."

Ice cracked under his boots as he walked up to the front door made in bronze with a golden stag's head knocker. The door opened automatically with the sound of gears clanking. Dark silence greeted him within.

"Something is missing…." He mused rubbing his chin, a smile curling on his lips, "oh, yes." Loki snapped his fingers together; torches and candles all around the room lit up revealing bookshelves filled with old spell tomes and books on different magic theories. In the center of the room was large comfy looking chair with a fireplace behind it.

Loki ran his long fingers over an embossed plate on a shelf. He quickly looked up at the books within, eyes scanning for a particular phrase on the spine in hopes that the answers to what he needed would be hidden within.

Through he had books on many types of magic from Asgard and other realms, the ones that had been thumbed through the most were books detailing useful spells in illusion.

"Home away from home!" The God of Mischief said to himself as he stretched and cracked his back. The green Hawaiian shirt draped down to his knees, and while he was not a fan of non-form fitting shirts, this one had become something of a worn old friend. Perhaps he'd see just how far he could take ugly wearable decorations; would the S.H.I.E.L.D agents eventually kick him out for not meeting their standard of dress? Questions to gain an answer for when he got bored.

Loki flopped down into the comfortable chair and raised one, brow wrinkling in concentration.

"Runic protections."

Numerous books from around the room pulled themselves out of the shelves they sat on.

"Incantations particularly on the element of fire."

Heavy tomes leapt back into place. Five still hovered. Loki shrugged. Those would do.

.

Somewhere above, deep within the darkened corridors of the main building, in storage rooms filled with dust and long forgotten – but well recorded, experimental equipment; the cameras and motions sensors picked up the signal of one humanoid body of midsize.

Darcy was having the time of her life; that is if she could just find her iPod that S.H.I.E.L.D. had taken.

"Hello? Is anybody there?"

"Hm, thought I heard something." She pushed her glasses up and continued searching the room.

_Creek_

"Hello?"

The sound of water plopped loudly somewhere in front of her. Darcy whipped her head back and forth between the two places unsure of whether she was alone in the room – or if something was here with her.

"I'm just looking for my iPod." She called out in the semi-dark room.

Metal screeched and scratch against metal.

"Oh! _Owch_." Darcy said when she rammed her elbow into the hood of a car. She rubbed it gently as she examined the speedy looking vehicle. It was cleaner and nicer than most cars she'd ever been in, especially compared to Jane's van. Jane seemed to be taking it pretty well that it had disappeared, possibly as soon as the stepped forward on to the plane to get here.

Who would have known that thieves in New Mexico were big on cramped old vans.

She patted the car. "You wouldn't happen to know where my iPod is would you? I can't seem to find it."

The car had a spaz attack.

In such cases, not that Darcy had ever run into a car that had problems with people – other than Jane's van, Darcy knew what she needed to do. She was off as fast as her legs could carry her.

Rather than running straight to the door, she pried back the medium sized vent that was just large enough for her to fit in and scouted along on her hands and knees. Huge footsteps boomed closer and she knew she had made the right decision; there was no way something that big would fit in the ventilation system.

She felt safe as she crawled farther in.

It honestly was not the weirdest thing she had ever done. Jane had needed a sewer diving partner at one point to help capture readings on noble gases to make sure they would not interfere much with Jane's finicky equipment. It was gross.

The whatever-it-was on the other side was much too large to climb inside, but it seemed happy enough to shine a bright light down the vent.

"Urgh. I just wanted my iPod back, I'll check in here for it then, thanks." And with that Darcy scuttled off in search for her long lost iPod within the confines of the ventilation shafts of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Until she hit a 90 degree drop and found herself crashing through a vent cover and landing on a bed.

A room that looked very familiar. With a very different person climbing out of the freezer.

.

Jane took a seat in front of A.E.G.I.S's computer monitor with her spine ramrod straight and determination flashing in her eyes. She clenched and unclenched her fingers quickly, warming them up before placing them on the immaculate keyboard hooked up to what must have been one of the most complex computers she had ever seen.

For such a high tech looking piece of equipment, she was a bit surprised at the primitive visuals of the graphical user interface.

"Okay." Jane sighed to herself.

_/search: Norse Mythology, Transformation_

The screen lit up with luminescent blue letters running across the screen reminding Jane of a movie she had once seen; minus the man in a black trench coat and glasses destroying computer AI viruses.

The wall of moving text and numbers ceased with a list of articles. Her shoulders slumped at the large number found. Unable to form a better search query without having any idea of what she was looking for, she opened the first page and began to read.

"You're interesting."

Jane shot backward into her chair as she blinked after images of computer text from her eyes. A warm mug was pushed into her hands and Jane was finally able to identify her disruptor, Natasha Romanov.

Jane's eyes widened in surprise and she reflexively answered, "How so?"

"You sit here before the A.E.G.I.S, the most complete database of information available now, continually adding and downloading gigs of new information in all languages, completely self-managed," Natasha's lips twitched upward slightly, "and yet… here you are… reading fairytales." Amusement permeated the air like clouds of heavy perfume found near women's make up counters.

The Astrophysicist shrank in a bit, before mustering her defense, "I'm off right now, and these could be more than what they seem. To us at least. Fairytales? _Legends_? Or possibly the only way for primitive cultures to describe extraordinary things for what are extraterrestrials?" Jane turned back to the screen, eyes roving over what seemed like an endless block of bright text.

Jane saw Natasha's head bob slowly up and down as she took in what would have seemed like wild declarations if not for the information and jumps in science they were both privy to. Mutant abilities. Extraterrestrial artifacts. Thor himself.

"Well, if you get any ideas on where the cube might have sent him, be sure to let the team of egg heads you work with know. Dr. Cooper was positively salivating at the idea of reacquiring the body back for an autopsy.

"It's not like I can point at star cluster with any sense of surety and say 'this is where he went,' set the coordinates for here." Jane huffed and crossed her arms. "It is much more involved than that."

Natasha stared at her for a second before rolling her eyes. Jane swore she could hear the red head muttering, "Thank god I only have one egghead to babysit. _Gospodi."_

Natasha shook her head harshly as if to rid herself of a particularly bad memory. She looked over at the screen. An eyebrow rose at the contents A.E.G.I.S had vomited up. Jane quickly scanned the page and noticing absolutely zero of what she was looking for, moved on to the next entry. And the next.

Natasha still standing next to her. The silence began to reach at Jane and distract her from her current mission; she couldn't stand having someone read over her shoulder. Just as she was mentally sorting through a few conversation topics, Natasha broke the silence.

"So. Norse mythology. Trouble in Vahalla?"

"Something along those lines…" Jane uttered distractedly. A blurred picture of a gigantic wolf flashed onscreen. She looked at it briefly before moving on.

"Well, I'd get it fixed if I were you - he is quite he looker isn't he? Hmpf, Norse God. Are any of the other ones real as well?" Natasha leaned over her shoulder, closer than Jane would have liked when a few ancient drawings showed on screen.

"From what Thor mentioned when we first met, it seems to be true." An image of a slender and well muscled black-haired lady warrior flashed through her mind, followed by a disconcerting feeling of envy at her figure. "The few I've met look just as gorgeous; figures that our culture would put upon a pedestal of beauty, for sure."

"And you've been able to keep him here?"

"He hasn't talked about Asgard much lately." She quickly replied steering the conversation away from where it was leading.

Jane did not want to analyze the underlying question Natasha was asking- she didn't quite know the answer herself anymore. It wasn't for looks, unless he had a thing against raven locks. Jane knew this wasn't the case, as the chances of an entire population having only black or blonde hair seemed astronomically low. But then, she didn't seem to know him – and she was back at square one.

He seemed so much more distant than before. And with a different temperament, as if he had gone from a passionate fireball of warmth to the coolness of the shade of a tree on an overly warm summer's day. He also seemed to be a little more…ironic? And overly dramatic, for sure. All conclusions pointed to a different person; or someone had beamed him so hard in the head his frontal lobes, if they housed the personality as they do in humans, had been thoroughly damaged.

"Jane? How many pages is this –"

"Do you know much about Norse mythology? Being home schooled most of my life my parents gave me few curricular choices beyond sciences, language, and math." Jane swiftly interjected.

The redhead's lips pursed in disapproval. "You didn't study anything that you couldn't prove with theories or you own senses, hm?"

"Not too much." And it showed it should by being one of the top researchers in her field of study. Alongside the low number of amorous relationships.

"What are you looking for?"

"Shape shifters, I just got off track; your database is a bit different than mine – and I don't know where to start." Jane rolled her eyes at the screen. "Well, beyond Norse Mythology. I've found stories of many different people transforming into animals, dragons and things. But I'm not sure which of these 'myths' would align with the modern day equivalent I am looking for."

"Loki is the most consistent, sort of, when looking at transformations in Norse culture, I believe. Unless you are looking for Fafnir."

Natasha stole the keyboard from Jane and typed in a new search query.

_/Search: "Loki" - IMG, legend, background. Norse._

The screen lit up as it calculated. Jane clicked into the first article with a title taking up half the screen. Loki, God of Mischief.

"God of mischief. That should help, hm?"

Jane didn't answer as she stared at the screen. Everything seemed to fall into place. Thor's current coolness toward her, the over compensating speech patterns.

Her stomach metaphorically flipped.

This was the person she had been telling her dreams and wishes too; the person she had hoped had returned only to be with her – they way romance novels she had secretly read under the covers at night as a young teen. Thor was supposed to be her prince; at least that was the way it had gone in her dreams and fantasies at night.

Now. Now she felt covered in a veil of unease and vaguely nauseous. She rubbed her upper arms lightly, to remove the touch of a stranger.

_Why?_ Echoed in her head. Obviously, she was being used. But she had few ideas why.

_To hurt Thor. _

An icy hand of fear gripped her heart and she choked at the feeling. Anger followed soon after coursing through her blood, in what she was embarrassed to admit carried with a tinge of eagerness to put him out of his misery and save Thor.

Perhaps in her story she would be the princess in shining armor coming to rescue her prince. She had an innate strength of her own and she would prove it.

"Thank you, Natasha. There is something I need to take care of." Jane said coolly as she stood up from the desk and walked out of the room.

"Okay." Natasha blinked when the scientist left the room. Out of curiosity, she scrolled farther down the page. Her eyes widened.

"Normal? This guy birthed a horse and a bunch of other creatures. He_ can't_ be real."

.

Just as Loki was stepping out of the freezer, rapidly growing to a normal height, the air duct above his bed burst open in a haze of dust and stupid human. The dirt covered Earther hacked and coughed, it was Jane's little follower.

In the silence and coughing that followed he voiced the only thing that could come to mind, "What were you doing in there?"

"What are you doing in there?" The girl on the bed said at nearly the same time, pointing to his leg that was still partially in the freezer. His normal leg, he hadn't replaced his Thor illusion yet; he had not been expecting a rude drop in from the ceiling.

"Who are you, again?" The dirty, room-interloper asked from what had once been a clean bed.

Loki paused. "If I told you I was the janitor, would that be acceptable?"

"Yes." Darcy blinked.

"I am a janitor then." Loki lowered his leg to the ground.

"Okay." The girl stood up and brushed off her clothes, bits of dust and matter dropping to the ground. With her head down and focused on her slightly torn sweater, she missed his nostrils flare in disgust. "Have you seen my iPod, Mr. Janitor?"

"No."

The room invader shrugged and looked around the room. "Okay… guess I'll be going then." Darcy adjusted her glasses and moved to the door.

"No. No, I don't think so. You've seen too much Miss. Lewis, and I can't have you talking about this to anyone. Even if it is a bit serendipitous that you don't really seem to care what I'm doing here, no loose ends."

And with that Loki stepped forward, grabbed her by the arm and raised his other, a book appearing in hand.

"I hope you like stories." His eyes sparkled, and he grinned. Before she could even cry out, he flipped it open and slammed the empty pages into her back.

"Eek!"

Blank pages attacked her from behind, encasing her in old spellbound paper. A second later she was sucked into the book, runic writings seeping up into the pages as it dropped to the floor.

Silently, the God of Mischief picked up the tome and thumbed through the first few pages describing a young women being sucked into a book.

Loki chuckled heartily and placed the book next to the bed. The raven haired god would read of her adventure later.

A harsh knock rattled at his door. Loki waved a hand in front of himself and his form rippled, growing in length and size.

He opened the door.

.

She stood in front of the faker, whose eyes glittered differently than Thor's – maliciously, she assumed. Thor's bright blues iced over should have triggered an alien feeling in her before; she mentally berated herself for not perceiving it earlier. Other things were different as well, the doppelganger's chin was a little more angled and where Thor's face seemed chiseled by an expert stone carver his seemed thinner and a bit rounded.

There were so many things she wanted to yell and scream at him, her mind was a jumble of it all.

When _his_ eyebrow rose in a way that seemed completely unlike him, the dam broke and a single word flowed out.

"Loki."

His eyes hardened and the smile dropped from his face. Suddenly, she realized it had not been such a good idea to do this without back up.

She stumbled backward preparing to run.

He moved faster than she expected, lightly tapping her on the neck.

Jane's legs seized and she dropped like a stone.

"I'm just getting a bunch of visitors today, aren't I?" He snickered from above.

As she faded into unconsciousness, she wondered who else had confronted him; and what he had done to them.

* * *

><p><em>TBC...<em>


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel characters.

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><p><strong>.<strong>

**Cue the Evil Twin**

_VIII_

.

.

"Thor!" She shouted in the grey mists that surrounded her.

Jane ran quickly, she knew he was here somewhere. She could feel it.

She ran faster, dark hair flowing out behind her.

Patches of moist grass and gravel revealed themselves under foot as she tried to move in one direction. Everything at eye level looked the same.

Grey mists eating up everything beyond sight, devourer of any sound made other than her own.

"Thor!" She called out desperately once more.

Nameless despair hit her as she ran, like an ever growing pit in her soul slowly consuming her alive.

Her breaths came out in puffs of hot air, white in the cleared area of fog around here.

Shrill male laughter echoed behind her and she clenched the front of her shirt in terror. Her heart was beating against her ribs harder than ever before.

Quicker she ran. And quicker still.

She moved as fast as possible with her right hand stretched out in front of her like a blind woman searching for a wall.

Jane's heart beat faster, so much so that she was afraid to count the beats herself; it could be near exploding.

"Jane!" Thor's shout seem all around her, clogged and floundering in the mist.

"Whe – where are you!" She hoarsely whispered back, exhausted from running. She didn't have time to rest.

Her breath froze in her throat.

Something was wrong and she took off running again.

Her shoeless feet pounded through thick wet grass; a feeling she had not felt since she was a child.

She shuddered and took a breath. Anticipation welled inside knotting with fear and dread and Déjà vu.

Jane was running uphill now; dread quickly overwhelming all other thoughts in parallel to her ascent.

She knew what was behind this hill; she could fill the familiarity of it in her bones.

From the top of the hill she would see a large New England style house burning; her parents never getting out alive.

She crested the hill, and her heart shattered and burned along with the house of her youth at the bottom.

She wanted to cry – she wanted to bawl but she was stuck in the movements she had made as a small child.

The windows on the second level were busted open, flames licking outward to the roof. Bright white paint newly added a few weeks previous charred and curled. The swing set nearby rocked gently in the breeze unaffected by the horror next to it. Everything seemed the same as the nightmare before this one which was the same as the one before that. Somewhere, far down that line a nightmare copied the images of real life that had literally seen burned into her mind.

But – something was off.

Something was different from the other times she had seen this – there! Down near the smoldering front porch!

"Thor!" She called out, voice echoing in the unnatural stillness. The nightmare had deviated; usually the person she was looking for was in the house, screams added to the roaring din.

She took a step forward; foot snagging in the roots of a tree. Her teenaged body tumbled down the hill staining her dress in swaths of green and brown.

Suddenly, she was at the foot of the burning house next to him. And she could imagine the screams of those burning inside.

The fire howled in the still air; the fire department wouldn't get here in time.

They never did.

"Thor, help them, please!" She pleaded when the voice of her little sister rose above the cacophony of fire and splintering hardwoods.

He never moved.

She flipped over from her spot on the ground to better study his face.

The look in his striking face was misery. His jaw twitched and his eyes darted back and forth unseeing – as if he was at war with himself. His frown turned to a scowl and he clawed at his cheek. He never moved though; soon it would be too late.

"I can't." He said. Her heart plummeted and broke.

She tried to crawl over to him but her body was stuck where she had crawled to in reality. The tips of her fingers barely touched toe golden armor of his shins.

Where the tips of her fingers touched black and silver spread; but she paid no heed to it.

She focused on Thor's sapphire eyes that looked down finally into her own.

With every smidgeon of hope she could dredge up, from every nook and cranny of her being that had not fallen to despair, she pushed it out with one word.

"Please."

And she stared into his brilliant eyes unblinking in her plea. Unnoticed, the color change of his armor spread and the width of his shoulder shrank.

His eyes turned to emerald and his features became shrouded in wisps of coal black. The only thing that mattered to her was his answer.

"For you."

Luminescent green eyes looked up at the burning house with a cool calculating fire of their own.

His stepped forward and in his wake frost rose from the ground. Her hands gently rested in the coolness.

Jane blinked the tears from her eyes that had rolled down her face carving clean paths from the dust and ash layered there.

It began to snow.

And then the house was only smoking.

And her savior was standing there, with her parents unharmed, her little sister laughing joyously and skipping around them in her pink cotton dress.

She tried to talk to them- to say anything, but no sounds came out.

The falling snow was coming down faster coating everything in a layer of brilliant white – covering the darkness, even her family.

Her father's lips moved and she smiled and nodded at what he said; something he used to tell her often during the times when she would feel down and alone with the world against her.

White fully encompassed her view leaving an image of them waving permanently etched in her mind.

Jane blinked. Fire reared up in her vision and she shrieked while flinging herself backwards.

"Oh? Are you awake now?" A pompous, egotistic voice came from behind her. It was familiar.

.

_She snores. And flails about. _Were his first two thoughts upon depositing her upon a blanket in front of the fire.

He had hoped that by knocking her unconscious he would have some time to think about what he needed to do, things were moving a bit faster on this end than what he had been planning for.

Sitting in his favorite chair with his head cradled in one hand, he sighed.

Loki had thought of many ways to force her into following his will.

Many of them wouldn't even have been that hard – all he needed was a signature on a magically binding contract and his newly taken chess piece would be forced to work for him.

It had only taken him five minutes. Now he was bored with little to do. He would have liked to explore the S.H.I.E.L.D building some more to get a proper lock on the rouge power source these cretins had found.

But the image of his new 'pet' waking up alone and messing up his books by pawing through them, had him shuddering in disgust. He was stuck in the room. And he was still quite bored.

His fingers rapped out a rhythm against the wood of his table and Jane moan. The unconscious human flipped over her face toward his from the floor.

His eyebrow rose and he added drool to his current list of "What I dislike about Jane Foster."

Her sleep seemed uneasy and he wasn't sure if that was attributed to the way he had knocked her out of if she naturally had few restful dreams.

His fingers stopped resonating against the wood as he paused. He raised one arm toward the human sleeping on the floor in front of the fire place and made a few quick gestures with his hand.

A blanket seemed to unroll from the wall and covered Jane up. His lips quirked upward before falling quickly.

"I don't like you." He said out loud.

Loki need to preoccupy himself with something before he turned into a goodie mush-bag like Thor.

He turned to his favorite pass time – _well second if you counted messing with people_.

The pile of books on the small end table next to his chair called to him with their knowledge and secrets.

The one he picked up however, was physically jumping all over the place.

_Maybe I get to mess with someone after all_, he grinned smugly as he grabbed a book titled in runic script 'The Pages of Puk Strife' and shook it vigorously before flipping it open to where he last left off.

He laughed when the earthling trapped within met up with a hunter of the bare-fronted hoodwink.

.

Jane turned to the voice, her mouth opening and closing silently. She blinked a few times to rid them of sleep.

His eyes looked familiar and she could have sworn she had dreamed about them. Bright green under dark hair.

She couldn't remember what the dream entailed though.

_One thing was certain_, she though as she looked around the room full of books, strange alien architecture popping out from the walls.

_She was not in the S.H.I.E.L.D. building anymore._

"Where am I?" She asked as she scooted away from Loki watching her like a hawk from a chair.

"My library."

"Loki?" She remembered confronting him, but –

"Hm?" Came the man's smug answer as he stared at her with a growing Cheshire grin.

"Why?"

He scowled at the question like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. A second later he was smiling again.

"Because." He said in a slight sing-songish tone. He rested his head on one hand, still staring at her unblinking.

Jane felt her face scrunch up in annoyance and he laughed lightly at her grimace. He laughed in a friendly way almost, if she hadn't have known who she was talking to.

"Hahaha. Yes. You've fooled us all. Now what?" Jane scowled.

He stared at her before shrugging a bit secretively. His hands shot out and Jane's eyes widened when she thought he was going to do something to her.

A sheet of old paper unrolled in front of her, filled with runes in a language she wasn't able to understand. The dark haired man silently gestured at it with a raised eyebrow.

"What?"

He stared at her.

"I don't understand."

He rolled his eyes and stood up.

It was like looking at a complete opposite of Thor. Lithe and compact where Thor was muscular. Dark and filled with secrets where his opposite was bright and readable. Yin and Yang almost and Jane was surprised that two people so opposite in looks and personality could be related.

If he hadn't have messed with them, or Thor – she would have very much liked to have become friends. Jane nodded subconsciously to herself, as one of the members of the Asgardian race animal magnetism seemed to literally drip off him.

"Put a dab of blood on this. It will make everything easier in the end for you. I thought Midgard used contracts; or are you just rising out of the Stone Age?" He said with one brow raised.

"We've been out of that age for a while as you have seen. You were at the mall with us." She said as primly as possible from her spot on the floor. She grimaced and lightly said, "I should have allowed Darcy to give you that wardrobe makeover. I'm sure you would have looked stunning in pink."

_Aha! His face twitched!_ Jane smirked; and that only seemed to annoy him more.

Suddenly a well practiced smug leer appeared on his face and he picked up the book he had been reading earlier.

"Funny you should mention your friend, Darcy. You will sign the contract, or your dear, sweet Darcy will have spoken her last words." He raised the book lightly to his temple and lightly stroked the outside of his face while grinning.

_For real?_ "How do I know you are speaking the truth? For all I know Darcy could be with Erik enjoy a good cup of coffee right now." Jane crossed her arms and raised a condescending eyebrow.

"You want proof?" He mumbled, book dropping absently to his lap as he tapped his chin with a long index finger. The green shirt brought out his eyes much better than it had hanging from Thor's larger frame. Though it added to the youthful boyishness of Loki due to it's over large size.

She found it harder to take him seriously.

He snapped his fingers as he came up with whatever proof he thought he had.

"Would you recognize her hand? Or arm?"

"Why? Are you going to cut it off?" Jane asked sarcastically.

He sighed and rubbed his temple. "Look we are both adults here right? And we both have things to do right? So why don't we just cut to the chase."

Funny that he was implying that she was the child here.

"Sure." She said; ready to call the Faker's bluff.

He flipped open the book and shoved his arm deep within the pages as if it was a black hole.

"Hng – You won't be needing – hmpf that," Loki grunted as he tried to pull his arm back out of the book that had eaten it up to his shoulder.

With a page ripping wrench, the book sailed across the room and he tossed something into her lap.

She shouted and flung the unknown flailing thing to the floor and gasped in horror when she realized what it was.

"See? I do have her; that would make a good trophy on the wall wouldn't it?" He said the last bit in a mumbling consideration as if he was actually about to start hoisting it up to see if it would improve the décor of the room.

Jane saw red as she stared at Darcy's left arm on the ground fingers feeling about as if searching for the rest of its body like in a Saturday cartoon. There was no blood and it was flesh colored skin all the way around, but that didn't stop her from jumping up and punching him in the face.

Her arm went through him and she ended up bouncing onto the comfy leather chair. She blew hair out of her face to the sound of his laughter from behind.

"Oh, that was good! I wondered when you'd try some sort of weak attack!" He laughed and to Jane's dismay he clutched the arm in one hand book held at his side by his arm.

"Weak attack?" She huffed. She braced herself for another attempt wishing she was half as good as Natasha.

"The day one of you pathetic, normal Earthers manages to land a hit to me is the day I stop nagging my – I stop attempting to become ruler of Asgard." His tone belaying the chance of that ever happening. Never.

_I will make it my goal._

She stared at him and wondered why he changed what he was going to say.

"So why have you screwed around with your family so badly? Thor was your brother – or are you happy with your attempted familicide?"

His smile turned bitter. "He is not my brother. And yes, I am happy with the steps I took in killing my blood relations."

She shuddered in revulsion, stomach twisting in knots at the thought of anyone doing that to their family members. This person was not normal. Not fit to be among others socially.

He flipped the book open and the arm disappeared in the bindings with a whisper of rasping paper. The book snapped closed.

"Now, to head of your annoying questions about what is written on here; the major functions of this contract are for you to treat me as though I was Thor when people are around or watching – you cannot tell anyone who I am," at this he tilted his head, eyes searching her face.

She wanted to look away, but was completely unable. "…Or will not be able to tell. You will also follow my instructions when I want you to act a certain way or do something – within reason of course I am not after sexual favors with this contract – so remove any want to try to persuade me otherwise, I'm pretty sure you females like that sort of thing." He raised his eyebrows at the end and Jane's face reddened in anger at the idea of being a wanton scarlet.

She balled her fists in her lap and promised to get him back for that.

"In exchange for what I have gone over, I will not harm your friend Darcy who is currently being held at my mercy."

The temperature seemed to drop as Jane realized the enormity of the situation. She was bartering her good behavior for Darcy's life.

"Now do we have a deal? One drop of your blood is all it takes to seal it and – hm, you don't really have any other choice now do you?" He grinned and she vowed once more that she would put a fist in his face.

She turned to the vile contract on the table and prepared to make her mark.

* * *

><p><em>TBC…<em>

**A/N** – I've decided to post a side story that runs with this from Darcy's point of view in the book. It will be a separate story but there will be times that they mesh a bit.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Marvel characters.

**A/N: **Enjoy, read and review please!

* * *

><p>.<p>

**Cue the Evil Twin**

_IX_

.

.

"You aren't going to get away with this you know." Jane said in the silence.

"Oh, I beg to differ."He responded with assurity. Loki moved to a moved to a nearby self and ran a lone finger over the dusty leather spines.

"Someone will figure this out. You're a horrid person. I don't know how I wasn't able to see it before." Jane pouted angrily. She stood inbetween the chair and the fireplace unsure of what to do.

"Well, you are a bit stupid." He said with his back turned to her. Her shoulders drooped. Now that she was in his control he had ceased to treat her as if she was a threat or even possibly with respect.

It was still within her power to be a bitchy annoyance though.

"I am not! I'll have you know I'm the lead scientist on the Einstein-rosen bridge researcher." She said in her best childish whine. The dark frown marring his face as he looked over at her was proof that she did hold some sway, even if it was to be a nuisance.

He turned back to the shelf, and Jane could swear she could hear him muttering under his breath.

She smiled at her infinitesimal win. It would add up in the end. She could take down this god in a battle of will and wit. Contract or no.

"Really. You won't be able to keep this up."

"Meh."He shrugged. He grabbed a book and walked over, thoughts clearly elsewhere.

"So," Jane stated. Loki seemed intent on treated her like she wasn't even there. The lithe black haired man passed by her and grabbed a second book off the table.

"Hm, yes – as my new junior associate in my endeavor to escape this parasite ridden rock, you will help me find a few answers I need." He finally replied. Jane let loose a quiet sigh of relief. The more calmly he behaved the more the air seemed to fill with a palatable tension. Strategizing and calculating were traits she hadn't quite expected in the god of mischief.

She had figured he was only in it for the quick and easy thrills. If this had been anybody else, the chills running down her spine would have been an obvious sign of attraction; Jane rather liked smart men.

"Oh? Well if you wanted to leave so badly; I'm sure S.H.I.E.L.D would have been willing to jettison your sorry carcass into space." _Hell,_ she'd even be the one to hit the launch button.

"No doubt."Loki smiled thinly.

The Asgardian passed the two books off to her. She carelessly flipped the first one open, looked at it, then back to the smug man in front of her.

"What is this written in? Pictographs? I can't read this."Jane said flipping the book upside down in hopes that the scribbles would reform into English or at least old-world Latin.

" Futhark Runes. Guess you'll have to learn them." He pointed to the other unopened book. "Time to prove your capabilities, human."

_Uhg. I don't have time to learn a new language_, Jane thought as she found herself being unceremoniously pushed out the door.

"Loki, I already have a lot to do," she tried again. The door was pushed outward and she found herself standing in a frozen wasteland. Her eyes widened. It was complete with overlarge ice cube trays. "I just don't have the... time," she mumbled trying to get her bearings.

She turned around and watched as he took the time to close and lock the door. A ripple of heat rolled around them, visible in the chilled air and suddenly they were back in his room at S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Well. That's not a good answer. A couple hundred people work here, wouldn't you say? Think of all the chaos I could cause." Implying that he wouldn't have messed with anyone else, she didn't believe him.

But what other choice did she have? Jane nodded slowly and sighed.

"I thought you'd see it my way. Time to go." Loki covered his forehead with one hand and with quite a bit of showmanship, lowered it down to his chin. A Thor with a mischievous grin replaced it, and he stretched. Now over the right face and build, he stood by the door.

He opened the door and gestured like a gentleman sarcastically.

"I'll expect you back in these quarters by four at the latest." Loki in his disguise whispered in her ear as she passed.

"Fine." Her fingers tightened around the books she carried.

"Oh and Jane?"

She turned to the Thor look-a-like who fiddled with something before stuffing it back in his pocket and looking at her. Jane's heart flipped a beat by the look in his eyes. Jane could still see his eye color, and she briefly wondered if he had done it on purpose or if the glittering emeralds color was her imagination.

He gently grasped her arm and pulled her close as if reeling in a caught fish.

Suddenly her mind seemed to explode with tingling and tactile sensations - as if a can had been lobed in a microwave and set on high. The nerves in her lips pulsed as he pressed his against hers. Like a hurricane in a spot not larger than a few inches; her entire body was aware.

He pulled back quickly like frost on a sunny morning and she floundered back hitting the wall. Somehow, they had switched places. Loki grinned at what must have been a bleary, glazed over cow look on her face.

His smirk turned vicious when his eyes quirked upward, but it was gone in a second.

"Do be careful. There are dangerous things happening." He said in a whispered tone filled with loving care, but the mischievous glint told her that he must have found the whole thing extraordinarily humorous.

She blinked and the door next to her clicked shut. It had felt like a lifetime trapped in one small moment. Loki was probably heading to the library inside his freezer to plan more ways to overturn her life.

Jane took a shaky breath and leaned against the wall. She hoped that he didn't plan to do that too often; her brain might go to mush.

"Like watching a man eat a turkey whole." Erik said with wide eyes from the table. He had seen the whole thing - the kiss.

_Turkey?_

Jane wiped her lips with a finger, the tingling was still present. She looked over at Erik. "You've dripped coffee into your lap."

.

"Well. That's ...not good." Hogun said noncommittally as he leaned back away from the viewer.

"At least he wasn't here to see." Fandral replied. One hand rested lightly on the spot where the icicle had pierced him, a nervous habit that had developed since Thor had been cast down to Midgard.

His eyebrow rose as he looked toward Hogun. "She is obviously getting along with him rather well. You don't think they'll kiss again or even go farther?"

The quiet man blanched as he read between the lines. "You make a good point."

Volstagg put down the venison hindquarter he had been gnawing on. "Wot 'er oo taulking 'aboot?" The belly heavy man said between chews.

Fandral placed a palm to his forehead not wanting to call his friend out on being a glutton at the worst time.

" Thor. Thor's love just kissed Loki and seemed to have a fun time doing it. Regardless of whether she knew or not - he still wouldn't be very pleased."

Volstagg flinched and his eyes darted to the door as if the god of thunder would burst in at anytime and rain righteous fury in the form of a hammer beating down on the delicious dinner laid out.

"So how do – what do we do about this. We're just lucky he wasn't in the room this time." Fandral said hoping to get a game plan set up. To save their fair city from a possible accidental rampage would be the best idea; their mighty friend had mellowed out quite a bit since his Midgard adventure, but no man would fault him for his anger.

"We need to distract him." Hogun frowned. "This will not be easy."

"Okay. We need to find something that will keep him distracted until we can find a way down there and fix this whole situation." Fandral said as he slapped a fist into his empty palm.

"Fix it?" Hogun questioned with eyes closed.

"Yes fix it. He's our friend after all. And he has helped us get out of many situations! Why Hogun, don't you remember the time you were caught with the minister's cat? Thor got you out of that with nary a thought." Fandral shouted on a roll now.

Off to the side Hogun flushed, "You bet me. And it_ wasn't_ a cat."

Fandral heard nothing as he continued his speech. "And Volstagg. What about that time you got so boozed up you rubbed honey all over yourself and presented yourself to the Maidens' Council...in the nude?"

"Aye, that was a glorious week!"

"Those gentle ladies wanted to hack your bits off, did they not?"

"Arrr-Harr! They did!" Volstagg laughed at the memory.

"And who saved those bits while you scampered away only partially tarred and feathered?" Fandral accused, pointing at the barrel chested man.

"Thor did." Volstagg licked his lips. "Might have to try that again sometime."

"Not now my heavy friend. You can get yourself pulled apart by the women later." Fandral said as he through an arm around Volstagg's shoulders companionably. "Today we help Thor. Now, who knows of a good distraction? Shall we get him bagpipe lessons? No? How about we-" Fandral grinned.

Hogun frowned. "Never again. That was a terrible idea the first time."

"But that was so much fun!" the mustached man cried out.

Hogun's eye twitched. "Not for the tunny-beasts."

Fandral's shoulders dipped. "Fine. What do we do then? Hang on, why isn't ne here now?"

"He's with Sif, is he not?" Volstagg answered as he spooned himself a generous helping of potatoes.

Fandral smirked. "Lady Sif? Well played." He marched toward the entryway. "Come along. We must have a chat with her."

"Why?" Volstagg spooned some potato mash into his mouth while he waited for an answer.

Hogun head tilted as the current scheme materialized and came together. "She distracts him while we find a way to go down there."

Volstagg spat up. He pulled his bowl closer to his body as if clutching a precious toddler. "Do what?"

"Loki knew how to leave Asgard without the Bifrost."

Fandral's eyes lit up. "Yes! We need to find out how the little bastard did it! To his rooms!"

"You are forgetting something."

.

"You want me to do what?" Sif nearly shouted before Fandral had a chance to stifle her. Not too far away Thor was fighting off a double edged attack made by Hogun and Volstagg as they kept him on the field.

"It's not that big a deal. We just need you to distract him. For a while." Fandral said, trying to play it down. He winced when Volstagg was pushed over and began to roll down hill. Hogun had pulled out a wicked looking naginata and wielded it with the experience of a well carved river.

"Why?" Her eyes narrowed.

"The view down there is getting steamy." He said, hoping that she would get his message.

She gave him a look that could have peeled his skin off. It pulled on the side of his mustache thinking of a better word choice.

Fandral tried again. "Mischief maker has made his move."

She looked at him as if he were half mad. "What the? Oh, no. Foster is?"

"They shared a kiss. We do not know if she knew it wasn't him but –"

"Yes, I see what you mean. He will be a pain to live with." she grimaced as her eyes caught sight of the blonde shielding himself against attack with his powerful hammer." The castle would need to hire more carpentry and masonry drones."

"Yes." Fandral answered bluntly.

She sighed.

"And how do I distract him?"

"We trust your judgment."

"Huh? No wait! I don't know what to do!"

* * *

><p>TBC…<p> 


End file.
